Lord, am I glad we found that out.

Hey RON; Need HELP here. Please explain the theory or reason for "MOOD" lights in the Barth. Do not mention the 'Male to Male' extention cord in your synopsis.

Since we have a few of scientific bent here, I will share the truth on light and darkness:

There is no such thing as a light bulb, let alone a "mood" light. Just as there is no such thing as cold, only the absence of heat, there is no such thing as light, only the absence of dark.

For years, it has been believed that electric bulbs emit light, but recent information has proved otherwise. Electric bulbs don't emit light; they suck dark. Thus, we call these bulbs Dark Suckers. The Dark Sucker Theory and the existence of dark suckers prove that dark has mass and is heavier than light.

First, the basis of the Dark Sucker Theory is that electric bulbs suck dark. For example, take the Dark Sucker in the room you are in. There is much less dark right next to it than there is elsewhere. The larger the Dark Sucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark Suckers in the parking lot have a much greater capacity to suck dark than the ones in this room.

So with all things, Dark Suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark, they can no longer suck. This is proven by the dark spot on a full Dark Sucker. The dark which has been absorbed is then transmitted by pylons along to power plants where the machinery uses fossil fuel to destroy it.

A candle is a primitive Dark Sucker. A new candle has a white wick. You can see that after the first use, the wick turns black, representing all the dark that has been sucked into it. If you put a pencil next to the wick of an operating candle, it will turn black. This is because it got in the way of the dark flowing into the candle. One of the disadvantages of these primitive Dark Suckers is their limited range.

There are also portable Dark Suckers. In these, the bulbs can't handle all the dark by themselves and must be aided by a Dark Storage Unit. When the Dark Storage Unit is full, it must be either emptied or replaced before the portable Dark Sucker can operate again.

Dark has mass. When dark goes into a Dark Sucker, friction from the mass generates heat. Thus, it is not wise to touch an operating Dark Sucker. Candles present a special problem as the mass must travel into a solid wick instead of through clear glass. This generates a great amount of heat and therefore it's not wise to touch an operating candle.

This is easily proven for lightbulbs too. When you compress a gas, it gets hot, right? So the light bulb gets hot because of all the dark being squished into the wires.

Also, dark is heavier than light. If you were to swim just below the surface of the lake, you would see a lot of light. If you were to slowly swim deeper and deeper, you would notice it getting darker and darker. When you get really deep, you would be in total darkness. This is because the heavier dark sinks to the bottom of the lake and the lighter light floats at the top. The is why it is called light.

Dark Suckers are only able to suck dark in a straight line. Dark, because of its mass, will not penetrate solid, opaque objects as it is being sucked by a Dark Sucker. When a Dark Sucker is operating, you will notice that dark that is behind a solid, opaque object does not flow through the object or around it to the Dark Sucker. Some of the dark will accumulate on the side of the object away from the Dark Sucker as the Dark Sucker attempts to pull it through the object. These residual patches of dark are often referred to as `shadows.'

Some surfaces are able to function as secondary Dark Suckers by sucking the dark from behind solid objects at an angle and then rerouting it to the primary Dark Sucker. These surfaces have a property we refer to as `reflective.'

Finally, we must prove that dark is faster than light. If you were to stand in a lit room in front of a closed, dark closet, and slowly opened the closet door, you would see the light slowly enter the closet. But since dark is so fast, you would not be able to see the dark leave the closet.

So next time you see an electric bulb, remember that it is not a light emitter but a Dark Sucker.

What the.......?

------------------
"Work hard and save, so that someday you can support those who didn't"

1985 28 foot Regal
Dave and Deb Bowers

And we are SUCKER'S for reading all this. Like Dave said, WHAT'S THE p----? Got to LOVE them two, ron, and bill h. I don't think their SCOOTERS would start today, or they have been sucking from a FOATING KEG.

[This message has been edited by DALE SMITH (edited November 12, 2003).]

H...F...way to go:Bill H.I like this one better than the "buy a Dog"thing. Thank Bill H.Best;Jay.

------------------
br2409

Oh, my......I'm being sucked into the dark....help!

Now I have to ask this question. Does anyone work?

I have to get busy and sell some Chinese Printed Circuit Board to someone...

But this is more fun...

------------------
"Work hard and save, so that someday you can support those who didn't"

1985 28 foot Regal
Dave and Deb Bowers

I live across the river from the Thomas Edison home where *Ol Tommy* invented that
glass thingy but he never explained that
way. NOW I'm fascinated when I flip a light switch......

I have always had a lot of respect for Bill's experience and knowledge. And because he lives so close to me, I hope to visit him soon. However,after reading what he just wrote, I just want to smoke whatever it is he's smoking.....Bill, I'll be right over!

Bill G. being a school PRINCIPAL you should know. Keeping those kids in line?. Hope you are well, and READY TO SKI. Why not jump over your Barth and get a birds eye view? I'm sure ron could give you some jumping pointers. Dale

Most days keeping the kids in line is the easy part. The adults give me the biggest problem. When you work with a lot of educated people, you get a group who think they know everything. This makes running a school very interesting, especially when the reason I'm there is to change things. It keeps me on my toes. Like a good friend of mine says "Every day's a holiday, some holidays are just better that others".

------------------
Bill & Georgene Goodwin
92 Regency 36ft
300hp Cummins
Gillig Chassis

ADULTS huh? I figured it would be the teenagers, you know, "HIRE A TEENAGER WHILE THEY STILL KNOW EVERYTHING". Principals would know though. Dale