1. BLAMESTORMING : Sitting around in a group, discussing why a Deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

2. SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

3. ASSMOSIS : The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

4. SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

5. CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles

6. PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

7. MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

8. SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What Yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.


9. STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

10. SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

11. XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.

12. IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The J-Lo and Ben wedding (or not) was a prime example - Michael Jackson, another.

13. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the heck out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

14. ADMINISPHERE : The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

15. 404 : Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error Message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested site could not be located.

16. GENERICA : Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, and subdivisions.

17. OHNOSECOND : That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake. (Like after hitting send on an email by mistake)

18. WOOFS : Well-Off Older Folks.

19. CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously passing gas while passing through a Cube Farm.

Hey, I resemble #2.

I made a good living at #13.

quote:

Originally posted by bill h:
I made a good living at #13.

One of my more humbling experiences in my life was as a teenager, when I was pulling my hair out trying to fix the v-sync on a computer monitor. I upgraded video drivers, reseated video cards, replaced cables, tried infinitely small graduations of the v-sync knob, all to no avail. My contractor father got irritated at the amount of time I spent working on this broken screen, calmly walked over, and gave it a smart "WHACK" on the top. It never flickered again and worked until the day it was replaced.

I would often make schedule by rapping a relay or contactor. I would then generate a system message advising replacement of the offending part, as these things usually repeat. Well, half of them were replaced. And half continued to fly, for one reason or another. Of the ones that continued, most repeated, but sometimes months later. Some never repeated, though.

I also had a lot of luck with card and box reseats. Some of the boxes were reseated rather vigorously.

some people keep telling me that #18 applies to me but the other day I went to get groceries and I had no cash, haven't used a check in three years, and my ATM didn't have enough bling to cover $40.00. So Deb says I can't use any of that money we have been saving for 25 years until I am 82. So here I am a 58 year old fat guy with a questionable heart and working 40 hours a week. Iknow what her plan is. I am going to be in my mansion in the sky and she's going to be in Tuscany with Franz somebody. I can just see it now.


So here's a poll.

Who votes for me to work another 10 years so that Deb can travel with Franz,

Or:

Who votes for us to cash it all in sell this house we have lived in for 24 years with the 1/2 acre I have to mow and hop in the Barth and go to Mexico, or Florida or somewhere.....anywhere.

DAVE: Come on down to Cookeville. A 3/2 partially set up for "handicap" home on an acre (corner lot) just came on the market last week For an asking price of $159,900.00 you can park your BARTH and be close to Nashville. Be sure to bring your guitar. And learn how to say "GITERDUN"

"THE TOY" 88 33' Regal SE Coach #3448

quote:

Originally posted by Dave Bowers:
some people keep telling me that #18 applies to me but the other day I went to get groceries and I had no cash, haven't used a check in three years, and my ATM didn't have enough bling to cover $40.00. So Deb says I can't use any of that money we have been saving for 25 years until I am 82. So here I am a 58 year old fat guy with a questionable heart and working 40 hours a week. Iknow what her plan is. I am going to be in my mansion in the sky and she's going to be in Tuscany with Franz somebody. I can just see it now.


So here's a poll.

Who votes for me to work another 10 years so that Deb can travel with Franz,

Or:

Who votes for us to cash it all in sell this house we have lived in for 24 years with the 1/2 acre I have to mow and hop in the Barth and go to Mexico, or Florida or somewhere.....anywhere.

I'd offer an alternative...ditch Franz in favor of the enormously wealthy Prinz Gerd von Bux, trading Tuscany for Upper Slobovia.

Then you take the Barth (which we know is an incredible chick-magnet, especially when equipped with a loveable dog or two), ease on down to Florida, kick back, and enjoy the Good Life.

In short, I semi-retired at 60, and my last consulting gig ends 4/30/06, whereupon I'll be fully-retired. I might last until 90 (none of my relatives except my Mother checked out before 92) or be gone next week. One can't enjoy retirement unless one retires, and the sooner this occurs, the longer one will enjoy it.

And Carl, Dave is from the Great White North - he's probably never heard of Larry the Cable Guy - but he knows all about Powdermilk Biscuits ("Heavens, They're Tasty!").

"work another 10 years"
No; not 10, just four and a fraction. It's called Social Security and while it isn't very secure it sure allows one to be social. One finds it amazing the amount of money one DOESN'T spend when the real job/career doesn't generate expense and life is simpler. Sell the house, put the money in a good investment fund, and live in the Barth 6 mos in Old Mexico and 6 mos working "Seasonal" -aka lowpay- jobs in our National Parks or resort areas.
When you get old you can buy another house and Franz can inherit the yard.
Don't forget why you're here!

Hmmm.....i think i vaguely recall something about a lawnmower controlling part of my life at one time......or maybe i just dreamed it.

What follows is an unintentional autobiography, but it illustrates what one can do with early retirement.

I quit working for money at age 50, not entirely voluntarily. For a year I had to lie down with a cool drink and a damp cloth on my forehead to quell my feelings of unproductivity.

A year later, having unburdened ourselves of all real estate except a paid-for lot, and possessing a big boat, a muscular pickup, a big travel trailer, and no mortgages, I found we could live modestly on 1/3 the income I had before, spend winters down South in the trailer, & summers up North on the boat.

We sold the lot on contract. The proceeds allowed us to buy occasional hamburger to go with the hamburger helper, and buy gas for more travel.

The payments came in for ten years. When the buyer paid off he had only paid down the balance by about 10%. At age 60 my military reserve retirement kicked in. Flush with cash, and with enough income to carry a mortgage, we built another house on rural acreage, & lived there nine more years.

At age 66, the cigarettes, ice cream & stress caught up & I had bypass surgery.

In 2000, yard work became too much, we sold the house, & bought a manufactured home in town for cash. Our taxes & insurance are 1/3 what they were, lot rent is less than the interest on our mortgage, we can walk to the store, four restaurants, the swimming pool, & the medical center. Exclusive of the motor home, we drive about 5000 miles a year. Cash flow is better than it ever was when we were wage slaves, and later, rural gentry.

None of this was my plan, it had to be Divine Providence.

Our estate is 1/5 what it might have been. Income is about half what it would have been had I not retired early, but we're still enjoying life, and we don't spend it all.

Our experience shows you can live comfortably on a lot less than you're used to. The folks we've met since getting out of a prestigious job, and a prestigious house, in a prestigious neighborhood have been, for the most part, more real, more generous, & more accepting than those whose lives were devoted to one-upping the proverbial Joneses.

IMHO, the earlier you can leave the rat race, the better. Gunner's got a good idea. I toyed with that several times, but we always managed to make out without having to work for money, though I spent a lot of time in volunteer work before the heart went on the fritz.

Dave, my advice is go for it ASAP.

Dave,

If you are thinking about it now, it must be something you want to do. My vote would be for you to do it as soon as possible as time is the only thing you cannot save or catch up on. It steadily ticks on and on and there is no going back. As said previously, none of us know how long we may live or the health we will have.

Have you ever heard of anyone on their deathbed regretting that they didn’t get back to the job one last time? No, they regret the sunsets, oceans, and mountains they didn’t see, the places they didn’t go, the things they didn’t do, the people they didn’t meet, and the friends they didn’t make. They regret not spending time with their loved ones.

It would have been better for me to work a few more years and save longer rather than taking the savings to live on (I'm spending their inheritance). I decided I would rather have less and enjoy myself more. So I decided to “retire” (the new meaning of the word is “quit”). Basically I am unemployed and enjoying myself immensely!

Listen to Tim McGraw’s song “Live like you were Dying”.

Life is not a spectator sport. Life is meant to be lived to the fullest and enjoyed. It's an adventure. And it doesn't mean you have to be a millionaire to do it either.

Change is sometimes difficult and decisions hard to make. Change is also exciting and good. Ask yourself what do you really want. Plan it out, set a date, then go for it.

It will be the best thing you can do for yourself.

Susan, you nailed it. YOLO (You Only Live Once)

quote:

Originally posted by Susan:
time is the only thing you cannot save or catch up on. It steadily ticks on and on and there is no going back.

"Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you."

Carl Sandburg