You Might Be An Engineer If...


—•You have no life - and you can PROVE it mathematically.
•You enjoy pain.
•You know vector calculus but you can't remember how to do long division.
•You chuckle whenever anyone says "centrifugal force".
•You've actually used every single function on your graphing calculator.
•It is sunny and 70 degrees outside, and you are working on a computer.
•You frequently whistle the theme song to "MacGyver".
•You know how to integrate a chicken and can take the derivative of water.
•You think in "math".
•You've calculated that the World Series actually diverges.
•You hesitate to look at something because you don't want to break down its wave function.
•You have a pet named after a scientist.
•You laugh at jokes about mathematicians.
•The Humane society has you arrested because you actually performed the Schrodinger's Cat experiment.
•You can translate English into Binary.
•You can't remember what's behind the door in the engineering building which says "Exit".
•You have to bring a jacket with you, in the middle of summer, because there's a wind-chill factor in the lab.
•You are completely addicted to caffeine.
•You avoid doing anything because you don't want to contribute to the eventual heat-death of the universe.
•You consider ANY non-engineering course "easy".


"Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet." — Scott Adams.

"Variables won't, constants aren't" — Old engineering saying.
•When your professor asks you where your homework is, you claim to have accidentally determined its momentum so precisely, that according to Heisenberg it could be anywhere in the universe.
•The "fun" center of your brain has deteriorated from lack of use.
•You'll assume that a "horse" is a "sphere" in order to make the math easier.
•The blinking 12:00 on someone's VCR draws you in like a tractor beam to fix it.
•You bring a computer manual / technical journal as vacation reading.
•The salesperson at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions.
•You can't help eavesdropping in computer stores... and correcting the salesperson.
•You're in line for the guillotine... it stops working properly... and you offer to fix it.
•You go on the rides at Disneyland and sit backwards to see how they do the special effects.
•You have any "Dilbert" comics displayed in your work area.
•You have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work.
•You have never backed up your hard drive.
•You haven't bought any new underwear or socks for yourself since you got married.
•You spent more on your calculator than on your wedding ring.
•You think that when people around you yawn, it's because they didn't get enough sleep.
•You would rather get more dots per inch than miles per gallon
•You've ever calculated how much you make per second.
•Your favorite James Bond character is "Q," the guy who makes the gadgets.
•You understood more than five of these jokes.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

You guys are causing me to become short of breath! Cannot wait to see you all in Goshen, and who is this Bubba Barth guy??

My name is Meric. It's a long story. But I am new to the Barth world. Been fixing things since I was 9 years old with my dad.

But I must say this beast is one unique piece of metal. Had many jobs in the auto industry including Brashiers NW Auto auctions. We specialized in travel trailers. For the 2 years I worked there I never saw a Barth.

Now I was no Diesel expert going into the purchase but worked for Dodge and Chevy and worked on plenty of Cummins, Alison, GM etc.

Coach looked clean enough. Why not?

Well I have learned many things about the 2 stroke DD since purchase. Some the hard way. But after our initial dating period I must admit I am in love.

When I drove Barth the first few times I was perplexed at some of the features and the way it waddled around like Baby Huey. He reminded me of a Bubba. Hence the name.

Every good boat has a name given after the owner gets to know it. Every good land yacht should have the same. Now Bubba was not what I would have chosen. But if you were on the ride with us you would agree. It's a Bubba.... LOL

Cheers and much love from the Great NW....

Meric

What does DNA stand for?
National Dyslexia Association.

A statistician gave birth to twins, but only had one of them baptized. She kept the other as a control.

If the world didn't suck we would all fall off.

Stupid people can't add but they sure can multiply.

I apologize in advance for drifing your thread, but looking at a map it appears you get around by using ferries? Can MH's use the ferry system between Sequim and Seattle?

Yes, however it is expensive.
Vehicle fares are based on a vehicle's length, height, and width, as well as the distance you will be traveling on board the ferry. There are two standard vehicle categories:
1) Under 14 feet - for smaller vehicles under 168 inches in length.
2) Under 22 feet - for most regular size vehicles.

Are you planning to come out to the left coast?

Mike

Yeah. It's not bad. It's about 60 bucks to cross. And it's 40 bucks in gas to drive around. So it depends how lazy or late you are.

10 bucks for the Samurai and 17 for a regular car.

Love is like a fart. If you have to force it it's crap.

There was a statistician that drowned crossing a river... It was 3 feet deep on average.



There are two groups of people in the world;
those who believe that the world can be
divided into two groups of people,
and those who don't.

There are two groups of people in the world:
Those who can be categorized into one of two
groups of people, and those who can't.

An escalator can never break — it can only become stairs.

What happened when Jesus wanted to swim?

I’m sick of following my dreams, I’m going to ask them where they’re going and hook up with them later.

Swiss Cheese is a rip-off — it’s the only cheese I can bite into and miss.

What is the definition of an engineer? Answer: Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had, in a way you don't understand.



What is said What it means

A number of different approaches are being tried.
We don't know where we're going, but we're moving.


An extensive report is being prepared on a fresh approach to the problem.
We just hired three guys. We'll let them kick it around for a while.


Developed after years of intensive research.
It was discovered by accident.


Modifications are underway to correct certain minor difficulties.
We threw the whole thing out and are starting from scratch.


Preliminary operational tests were inconclusive.
The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch.


Test results were extremely gratifying.
It works and, boy, are we surprised!


The design will be finalized in the next reporting period.
We haven't started this job yet, but we've got to say something.


The entire concept is unworkable.
The only guy who understood the thing just quit.


We need close project coordination.
We should have asked someone else.
Alternate: Let's spread the responsibility for this.

The difference between an engineer and a technician is that an engineer can tell you why something works, but he can't tell you why it doesn't work.

Famous question from the non mechanically inclined.

How hard could it be?


What is the first programming language you learn when studying computer science?

Profanity