Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take from four days to four years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years; It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons

Thanks so much for this important heads up Rusty!. That goes a long way to explaining why the sea level in the mid Atlantic region has been reported to be rising at a much greater rate than elsewhere in the US. It may not be global warming and the melting of the ice caps as we have been led to believe, but much more likely the concentration of Governmentium and Administratium in the Washington DC area. The great mass of these extraordinarily dense elements is actually causing a deformation in the Earths crust, giving the illusion of a rising tide, while in fact, we are sinking.

It is scary how similar this really is to politics. Might I add that the opposite of pro is con. Pro is short for progress, con, of course, is short for Congress. And it doesn't seem to matter who is in the majority.